I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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