Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
