It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
