Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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