I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
