I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
