The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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