toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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