and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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