Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
