This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
