I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
