All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
