Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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