there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
