So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
