Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
