She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
