he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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