I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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