i barfeds in our rink
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
