4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
