just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
