Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
