I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
