Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
