Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
