Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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