How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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