VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
