is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
