Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just want nice things and good sex
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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