yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
