you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
