Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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