I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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