I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have surprise drugs for everyone
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
