he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
