I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
