Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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