So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize