Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
