i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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