I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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