True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
