why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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