Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
