he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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