The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
