one might say we're banned from that church
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
