I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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