real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize