she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
