I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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