hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
