Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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