I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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